After such a particular disturbing dream yesterday night, I am sitting here in my lab with so many things to do and yet all I feel like doing is going back to bed and dream another dream to undo the previous one!!!
The weekend has somehow been a little upsetting partially because I havent completed the targets I set for myself but mostly because conflicting thoughts have been running through my head. And the confused soul that I am, I am not able to place what thoughts are actually affecting me!
The best thing to do in such a situation for a person like me is to get to work, finish off the targets and become a much less cranky a person! But then again, I am not able to move my b**t (literally) off this chair.
The whole crazy thoughts time started on friday with a chat with DVD. The nostalgia hit hard about the old times and how they were completely missing now. And how much I loved those times when they were there!!
Then came the department welcome party- awesome-as I had the perfect 'american' evening out for the first time- party and then billiards and then being driven home ;) But then reality was waiting back home for me... and it was irritating to get back to earth and 'India'.
Then came saturday with its nothingness- partial sleeping bouts and complete uselessness. Then a trip to a year back through 'stories' to roomies. This not only brought back the pain of a year ago but also was the prelude to the dream! Only the dream was kind enough to wait for a day to show up!
Then going to bed on a saturday thinking Sunday is the day of work and getting back on track! But then sundays are never a good day to start work. And not surprisingly the sunday got wasted too.
All this happening in the midst of me making a futile attempt to fill in gaps left by one person with another completely different person and feeling terrible about the fact that 'things are just not the same'. Trying to look for the same friendship and mutual comfort and absolute understanding like that with DVD; with PRS- who though is just as protective and caring and very very nice, can never be the same kind of friend as the mindset is extremely different!
Arrrggghhhhh..... anyway letting it all out to my never changing friend 'my blog' has made this irritaing experience a little better and a Monday morning much more bearable!
Happier posts hopefully sometime soon! (One happy fact is I've got in to the habit of blogging again! :D) (Wow! that actually made me feel nice!)
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