The stars and stripes of joy

This post was supposed to be written some time ago.. 6 days ago precisely; when I got out of my lab late evening and the words captured me on my short walk back home. But the absolute masti that goes on with roomies after I reach home prevented me from being able to even switch on the laptop, let alone blog!

But it would have been unfair to those words if they didnt see the light of the blog page! So here I go, with less than 16 hours to go for my second exam- my most unprepared one till date (except the numerous ones back home :)), sitting in my lab, at the risk of being reprimanded by my professor for my joblessness, creating inordinately long sentences and finally begin writing this post! (Phew- that took some skill to come up with! :)). So here goes nothing:

Walking out from morgue like temperature into sunlight,

Thawed by the evening sun gentle and bright,

I think and wonder of the different life I lead here

And I want to recollect all the experiences I've had before they smear!

The nervousness entrenched stay in the first few weeks

Filled with all kinds of observations and new discoveries,

The people, the places, all nice and new,

Making me believe life's not that askew!

Then starting an exciting novel academic journey,

Lab work, courses and earning my first penny,

Numerous number of F**K ups and embarrassment,

But ultimately walking out of the pipet room triumphant!

Later loving and sharing with roomies not so few,

Mock fighting and bizzare teasing as friends would do,

Falling for every second guy I meet,

Living the single life ever so sweet!

Insane and carefree masti all through the weekend,

Later struggling with no proper sleep for days on end,

Going for long midnight walks and talks before an exam

And wrapping up the test thinking 'damn damn damn!'

Celebrating both pot luck festivals and poker scandals,

Interspersed with spontaneous birthday parties and magic candles,

Enjoying pool parties and tucson sky sooper,

Spending nights in absolute drunken stupor!

Now writing this poem with a half eaten brownie in hand

Letting the small little brain with thoughts expand,

Summoning up the memories of all things I've done here,

I finally realize this unique 'American' experience has been very very, dear!

Dreams and Dream like states..

Dreams can be very very irritating! Especially when they reveal your deepest desires; ones that you have supressed a long long time ago.. and u thought they didnt exist!

After such a particular disturbing dream yesterday night, I am sitting here in my lab with so many things to do and yet all I feel like doing is going back to bed and dream another dream to undo the previous one!!!

The weekend has somehow been a little upsetting partially because I havent completed the targets I set for myself but mostly because conflicting thoughts have been running through my head. And the confused soul that I am, I am not able to place what thoughts are actually affecting me!

The best thing to do in such a situation for a person like me is to get to work, finish off the targets and become a much less cranky a person! But then again, I am not able to move my b**t (literally) off this chair.

The whole crazy thoughts time started on friday with a chat with DVD. The nostalgia hit hard about the old times and how they were completely missing now. And how much I loved those times when they were there!!

Then came the department welcome party- awesome-as I had the perfect 'american' evening out for the first time- party and then billiards and then being driven home ;) But then reality was waiting back home for me... and it was irritating to get back to earth and 'India'.

Then came saturday with its nothingness- partial sleeping bouts and complete uselessness. Then a trip to a year back through 'stories' to roomies. This not only brought back the pain of a year ago but also was the prelude to the dream! Only the dream was kind enough to wait for a day to show up!

Then going to bed on a saturday thinking Sunday is the day of work and getting back on track! But then sundays are never a good day to start work. And not surprisingly the sunday got wasted too.

All this happening in the midst of me making a futile attempt to fill in gaps left by one person with another completely different person and feeling terrible about the fact that 'things are just not the same'. Trying to look for the same friendship and mutual comfort and absolute understanding like that with DVD; with PRS- who though is just as protective and caring and very very nice, can never be the same kind of friend as the mindset is extremely different!

Arrrggghhhhh..... anyway letting it all out to my never changing friend 'my blog' has made this irritaing experience a little better and a Monday morning much more bearable!

Happier posts hopefully sometime soon! (One happy fact is I've got in to the habit of blogging again! :D) (Wow! that actually made me feel nice!)

Thinking of a title; thinking of the content!

I have 3 unfinished drafts, 5 unread chapters and 6 crazy thoughts tempting me to not start a new post. But it is 8 Pm and I'm in my lab and I am bored! I guess that's good enough reason isn't it!

I have no clue why I am writing this post. Generally when I begin writing a post, it is usually an extension of an inspiration I've had at 3 in the night. But I just read a blog about someone's first date. I have no idea who she was and how I got on to her blog (Weblinks can take you places- literally! :D); but it was a wonderful read. And after reading that I realised I haven't gone on a first date in 4 years and more so I realised I haven't blogged in what seems like ages!

And Gosh! Its been so long since I've written a post, that the excitement of my first ever post is taking over!

And now this blog ends.... The excitement that made me begin now seems to have vanished in the calls from home and chats with friends! I started this at 8 and now it is 10 and I have come up with nothing.

So instead of continuing this futile attempt, I will end this one and hopefully begin the next one with more enthusiasm and much less distractions!